


A Thought

by Iamacarrot



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, Poetry, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23317600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamacarrot/pseuds/Iamacarrot
Summary: Leo dwells on himself as a whole.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 135





	A Thought

They don't understand how he works, do they?

They don't understand his struggle, his want- no, his _need _to be recognized for something.__

__They don't understand why; why he acts the way he does, why he says what he does._ _

__Unlike one would want to believe, he enjoyed it when he was yelled at; enjoyed when he was scolded for doing something he knew he shouldn't have done._ _

__It felt so good to be looked at, to be talked to, to have someone willing to show you attention, whether it was positive or not._ _

__Intelligence, Strength, Creativity? Something they all had, none of which he possessed. He had none of those qualities, nor any of his own._ _

__At least, none that didn't make others think he was a useless piece of shit._ _

__To think that he used to spend his nights as a youngling, sobbing and wondering why he was of no use, wondering why these truths were a part of who he was. To think that he actually believed that he could find something to be proud of._ _

__But deep down, he knew he couldn't._ _

__So, he resorted; he resorted to his awful jokes, to his memes, to his playful remarks._ _

__The only things that would gain him attention, both positive and negative._ _

__Of course, there were days when he didn't need to force himself onto his brothers to gain attention. On these days, he would cherish their comfort, cherish their love, cherish their happiness._ _

__Or, would he?_ _

__He thinks so. It's what he wants, right?_ _

__Or… does he want something else?_ _

__Does he want recognition, or does he want a role? Does he want love, or does he want dominance? Does he want respect, or does he want a dead set hierarchy?_ _

__No! Of course not! He could never even imagine wanting those other things! He wants what he wants!_ _

__He wants recognition! He wants love! He wants respect! He wants… he wants…_ _

__HE WANTS THEM TO TRUST HIM, GODDAMN IT! WHY DON'T THEY TRUST HIM?! WHAT HAS HE DONE?! WHY DO THEY NOT WANT TO TRUST HIM?!_ _

__WHY?!_ _

__WHY?_ _

__Why?_ _

__...Why…?_ _

__What did he do? Dear God, tell him what he did! He'll take it back, no matter the consequences! Please! Just tell him what he did!_ _

___.  
.  
._

__"...Tell me what I did…"_ _


End file.
